


Anything, Everything

by lun_a



Series: Coming Home [1]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, fluff at some point, i was so heartbroken after writing this, idk what else please dont hate woojin, maybe i was drunk but, protective!Kuanlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 11:16:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15338700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lun_a/pseuds/lun_a
Summary: A second glance was all it takes for Kuanlin to realize, he’s not at all losing. His sanity may be, at some point, but Kuanlin assures himself, he’s not going to lose. At least, not Jihoon.





	Anything, Everything

**Author's Note:**

> so, this fic was actually inspired by Shawn Mendes' This Is What It Takes, aka my fave song lol don't read this if you're looking for some sweet university!panwink because this is all angsty, i love kuanlin and all but, okay blame it on the song lmao. enjoy and leave comments/kudos!

For the nth time, Kuanlin rushes to school, five minutes before his first class starts. He didn’t even bother apologize to Minhyun when his bag once again hits the small flower pot by the balcony making it crash on the floor. He hears the older one shout his name as he runs away, but he plans to just buy a new one again on his way home later.  
The moment he enters the classroom, his seatmate and best friend, Jihoon, scoots closer to Kuanlin’s seat and tells him to read his notes. Kuanlin lets out a low snort, how pleasant of a morning it is to be welcomed by a quiz. Jihoon laughs a little, knowing Kuanlin would definitely still perfect the quiz without opening his notes. They’re in their sophomore year in college; Kuanlin has maintained being in the dean’s list, a thing Jihoon always brought pride being friends with the boy. Kuanlin was not the studious type though, he’s that guy who practically lives in the basketball court and would not leave until either Jihoon or his older brother Minhyun drags him out to go home.  
“I still don’t believe you don’t study at home,” Jihoon whines as they got out of class, grasping in his both hands their quiz papers and comparing their scores. Of course, Kuanlin perfected it again and Jihoon got eight mistakes.  
“Ji, I get home at ten, I eat dinner for thirty minutes and shower for an hour. That leaves me less than thirty minutes to twelve before I sleep. Now tell me, how do I study at home?” Kuanlin asks Jihoon as if it’s a speech he’s long memorized. Jihoon rolls his eyes and grabs the taller one’s bag and shoved their papers inside.  
“Whatever. Let me guess, we’re buying another flower pot later,”  
“Right,” Kuanlin nods and leads their way to the cafeteria.  
If there’s one thing Kuanlin loves about Jihoon, it’s the way he eats. Don’t get it wrong, Kuanlin doesn’t exactly hate Jihoon, it’s just a best friend thing. Jihoon has natural puffy cheekbones and round eyes. His all being means everything soft and Kuanlin would never say it but he finds Jihoon the cutest creature when he eats. Every time Jihoon sees food, his eyes twinkle as if it’s always his first time to eats and he never fails to show his excitement and enthusiasm when he’s actually munching on it.  
A boy enters the cafeteria, which is actually not a scene for Kuanlin to notice but Jihoon strikes his head up from his bowl rice (a grain sticks on his left cheek, Kuanlin discreetly puts it away but Jihoon was too occupied to even pay him attention) and a smile, his bright one Kuanlin knows too well, draws across Jihoon’s face. It was Woojin.  
“Hey, I’ll meet you in our next class. Don’t forget our strawberry milk! And finish your food, you twig!” Jihoon tells Kuanlin as he gets up, picking up some chicken drumsticks as he go away from their table and towards the boy who just came in.  
Kuanlin wasn’t able to reply. He keeps a smile to himself, looking at the almost finished food from Jihoon’s plate that’s literally for three people. What’s amazing about Jihoon is he never gets fat on his belly or even on his arms or thighs. He just gets heavier as far as Kuanlin knows since the older one often falls asleep on his bed and Kuanlin has to carry and move him to his own.  
He takes a glimpse at Jihoon’s direction, now draping an arm over an uninterested looking Woojin. It has been a year since Kuanlin found Jihoon’s fondness of Woojin. His best friend first confessed it to him, and eventually started to make moves on Woojin, who, since then didn’t show any interest on Jihoon. For a while back then, Kuanlin hated the idea of seeing Jihoon exert efforts just to see them go down the drain. He helps Jihoon bake cookies at midnight; Jihoon doesn’t really know how to but stayed up until three after successfully baking a dozen, throwing away almost twice as much burnt ones. Jihoon had to sneak it to Woojin’s locker by seven the next day since the latter comes by at eight. Kuanlin never liked Jihoon looking so tired; they’re both the laziest people and it’s the first time he’s seen Jihoon work hard in the kitchen. (That same day, they saw Woojin shove the box of cookies to his friend, Jaehwan. Jihoon just smiled and told Kuanlin the cookies weren’t actually that good.)  
As much as Kuanlin disagrees of what Jihoon has been doing just to get Woojin, he never said a word and kept on supporting his friend. He saw how Jihoon’s mood brightens when Woojin is around, being his kind of happy whenever Woojin smiles even though not because of him. There’s a thud on Kuanlin’s heart but he’s fully aware Jihoon finds another kind of happiness in Woojin, and he can never give him that as his best friend.  
He leaves their table few moments later, not finishing his food. He turns his heel to the cafeteria’s counter, taking two cartons of strawberry milk. It has been a tradition to them; their subject after lunch is always Calculus and Jihoon says he never gets to focus on numbers without strawberry milk in his body. Kuanlin looks around, Jihoon’s nowhere to be found but there was Woojin on one of the tables, with his friends.

“Hey,” Kuanlin plops the cartons on Jihoon’s desk. His best friend looks up with his usual sleepy looking eyes. Kuanlin fights off the urge to hug his friend, he knows how exactly it’s feeling but can’t get to say it out loud.  
“Hey, Lin. Took you so long,” Jihoon greeted with a normal voice. Kuanlin takes the seat beside him.  
“Where have you been?”  
Jihoon smiles as he punches the straw into his strawberry milk, “I was with Woojin in the rooftop before I came down here.”  
Liar. This isn’t news to Kuanlin anymore. Jihoon used to lie straight in his face a couple of times before just to make Woojin a look good, or to just hide the fact that Jihoon’s hurt. Once again, Kuanlin never said a thing, just like now.

 

Two weeks passed, Kuanlin has been consistently buying his brother a flower pot everyday meaning he never fails being late at class. Jihoon, on the other hand, looks pre-occupied for the past week though. Kuanlin hesitates to ask his friend about it but Jihoon seems to be really bothered. So, Kuanlin catches up with Jihoon after their World Literature class one day.  
“Spill,” Kuanlin straightforwardly said, grabbing Jihoon’s wrist.  
“What?” Jihoon asks back with bewildered eyes, as if he’s been caught.  
“I know something’s up. Mind telling me?”  
“Kuanlin, I’m fine. I don’t need—“  
“I swear, Park Jihoon if you don’t speak, I’m going to drag Woojin and ask him about it,” Kuanlin threatens and Jihoon stiffens upon his words.  
“Gosh, you’re persistent, aren’t you?”  
“I’m Kuanlin,” Jihoon rolled his eyes.  
On their way home, Jihoon told he’s going to confess to Woojin face to face. Kuanlin sighed at the idea with a knock on Jihoon’s forehead, ‘Really, now Jihoon? Are those gifts not enough to say you like him? It’s been a year!” Jihoon laughed it off, slightly embarrassed but still willful to do what he plans.

 

And not long after, Jihoon offers Kuanlin to a walk together after classes as if they don’t usually do. Much to Kuanlin’s surprise, Jihoon bought a flower pot along their way and told him to give it to Minhyun. After sensing something’s going on, Kuanlin asks if Jihoon has to say something. And he does.  
“Woojin and I are dating. Tell me you’re happy for us, Lin,”

 

For god knows how long, Kuanlin has kept some feelings inside his pockets. Well, except for all those words he’s never said against Jihoon’s actions towards Woojin before but he thinks nothing matters anymore now that Jihoon has told him he already got Woojin. After Jihoon told, or rather informed Kuanlin about Woojin and him, the former spends more time now with his boyfriend. Thank heavens, Wooseok was considerate enough of his cousin Kuanlin to take him to lunch (expensive lunch, actually. Wooseok is shitass rich and Kuanlin thinks this is an advantage).  
Kuanlin won’t say anything but the moment he has heard Jihoon told him those twelve words, and saw his hopeful eyes land upon his, he heard something break; maybe more ear-piercing than how Minhyun’s flower pots sound like every morning. 

 

Six in the evening during winter break, Kuanlin walks by an isolated street due to the snow near their neighborhood. There stood Woojin and Jihoon, meters away from where Kuanlin was. Woojin looks at Jihoon with an apologetic stare and Jihoon speaks with tears visible through the chilly air. A second glance was all it takes for Kuanlin to realize, he’s not at all losing. His sanity may be, at some point, but Kuanlin assures himself, he’s not going to lose. At least, not Jihoon.   
Kuanlin notices Jihoon’s thin jacket and just before Woojin pulls him into a hug, Kuanlin takes big steps towards the other two, grabs Jihoon by the wrist and puts his scarf around Jihoon’s neck. Without a word, Kuanlin pulls Jihoon away, leaving Woojin behind.

And Kuanlin witnesses Jihoon cry so hard for the first time in a while. The last time was when they were nine, when Jihoon’s pet dog died and the following others wasn’t exactly emotional, most time were when Jihoon tries out foods he didn’t know were extremely spicy (especially those volcano noodles, Kuanlin had to hold his laugh for fifteen minutes over a crying Jihoon). Kuanlin took Jihoon to their home; Minhyun did not complain when both of them went to Kuanlin’s room with their shoes still on after seeing Jihoon’s red face, on the verge of crying.  
Jihoon kept on sniffing and holding back his tears for a good five minutes before Kuanlin shoves his hand over his back, rubbing it soothingly and telling Jihoon its okay to let it out. Jihoon does so.  
“For a year, Lin, Woojin’s been my happiness. He’s always my happiness. I know he just gave me a chance, or he just got tired of me following him around when he agreed on dating me. I don’t know, maybe out of pity or whatever reason I could care less but I didn’t know it’d hurt so much to see the truth break in front of me.” Jihoon kept babbling, while the other stayed silent.  
Kuanlin hated himself for keeping quiet all the time, he should’ve warned Jihoon, he should’ve told him how Woojin isn’t someone he deserves. He should’ve done so, if not of the genuine happiness he saw in Jihoon’s eyes because of Woojin. If he hadn’t been that weak to think of Jihoon’s happiness before his heart’s safety, Jihoon would not be hurting like this right now.  
“I’m sorry,” Jihoon speaks up after a minute of silence, sobs coming out of his lips occasionally.  
“I’m sorry. I know how much you hate Woojin for me but I’m very lucky to have you, Lin for staying by my side,” Jihoon takes his friend’s hand and intertwined their fingers.  
“I-I shouldn’t have let you go near that guy in the first place. But Ji, if this happens again, I would still do the same things. I can gamble anything for you, if it costs my heart,” A beat, “..anything.”  
Jihoon looked puzzled but dared to stare back into Kuanlin’s serious eyes. He did not understand a thing, or maybe he did not want to let it all into his head.  
“Lin—“  
“Rest now, Jihoon,” Kuanlin says with a smile. Jihoon hesitantly complies but Kuanlin tucks him in bed, lulls him until he finally drifts to sleep.

 

It was a long night for Kuanlin. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to face whatever inquiries Jihoon has on mind the next morning about his words but one thing’s for sure: he’s not letting Jihoon be hurt again. He stares at the boy’s sleeping figure, curious of how he can take away all those pain Woojin has left on Jihoon’s fragile heart. If only Kuanlin can do everything, he’ll do for Jihoon. Even if it takes him to watch Jihoon fall for somebody else over and over again, as long as he’s happy. Even if it takes Kuanlin to drink more strawberry milk despite his disliking of any berry, he’ll do so that Jihoon can focus on math. Even if it takes him another baking session just to make sure Jihoon won’t touch a burnt cookie and hurt himself.  
Kuanlin would do it all, even if it takes him to bear all the pain just to make sure Jihoon’s not hurt, be Jihoon’s shoulder to lean on even if every tear means every piece of his heart shattering. Kuanlin is willing to offer everything that he is just to fix Jihoon, ready to watch his finger bleed while picking up Jihoon’s broken pieces.

If this is what it takes, Kuanlin won’t hesitate to go over the whole damn thing over and over again, for Jihoon— anything, for Jihoon.


End file.
